Our First Mother's Day

Oh baby Wyatt, where do I begin.  It's almost surreal to think that you are almost one year old, let alone we are celebrating mothers day.  Mother, a term that I was not real keen on for a majority of my life.  I had travels to do, concerts to attend, and just living my life to the fullest really.  Or so I thought that was living life to the fullest.  Life pretty much revolved around me.

That soon changed.  The moment you popped out, my life had new meaning and it quickly revolved around you.  I cannot explain how you have changed my life in the most amazing ways.  I have found a new sense of pride in watching you grow and learn all the things you do, from crawling, to pattycake, and feeding yourself to babbling at the top of your lungs.  I have also found a new sense of worry. A worry of if you are coming down with a sickness, if I am doing a good enough job at raising you, if you are safe when I'm not around.  Prior to you I had little to no worries.  Fearless you might say.  I will take these worries over fearless any day.

I am quickly learning how independent you can become.  In the begining you needed me, all of me.  You needed my skin on your skin to know this outside world was an ok place to live.  You needed my milk to grow and become strong.  You needed my arms to hold you tight to make you feel safe and calm.   Now you drink a bottle on your own.  You feed yourself food, on your own.  You no longer cuddle at bedtime, but prefer to just be put to bed.

I cherish the moments when you come crawling to me with your hands extended "wanting me".  I know that those moments of 'needing me" will soon change as you grown into a young gentlman.  You will need me in other ways.  Instead of needing me to hold you tight when those mean teeth are pushing through, you will need my support and advice, Instead of needing me to save you when you roll on your back and can't get back over, you will need me for a ride to an event, or encouragement to ask that special girl to the school dance.

One of the best things that you have going for you is that I was blessed with the greatest role model of a mom.  If I am at least half the mom to you, that your grandma was to me, you will have a bright future little man.  I can't wait to see where this road takes us, you and me.

Love,

Your Mama

Weight loss with a lil Zantac

First let's talk about weight loss after pregnancy. Pumping/breast-feeding is like a secret magic tool.  It conveniently makes weight quickly fall off. Two weeks postpartum I was down 5 pounds pre-baby weight. That is all of my baby weight plus an additional 5 lbs if you couldn't do the math. Four weeks postpartum I was down 10 pounds pre-baby weight. Pre baby weight!!!! That is a total of like 31 lbs. At this point I pretty much felt like a rockstar.  Then comes along a little thing called a plugged milk duct. (If any of you need to know how to get rid of said plugged milk duct refer to this post). 

After that little treasure of an experience showed up I could only produce one ounce of breastmilk so I stopped pumping. Gasp I know, my child only got one month of breastmilk so I'm sure he will not thrive or prosper (insert mom shaming that my child was not breast-fed for one year). I wasn't really even a fan of pumping anyway so I was impressed I made it 4 weeks. I really just wanted to know what it felt like to be a milk cow. (Kidding........kind of). 

So now fast-forward to week five postpartum where I am only down 5 pounds pre-baby weight. Yes that means I in fact gained 5 pounds back.  We are now at six weeks postpartum and I am only 2 pounds lighter than pre-baby weight. Dammit, I am going backwards. I suppose I should stop eating ice cream multiple times a day since I am no longer excreting milk from my tits. So there's that.

On to the Zantac.  I like to update you all on my angry baby situation for what reason I don't know, other than maybe this will be a cute timeline for later on to refer to as to why my hair turned grey so quickly. We started my adorable lil peanut on Zantac last night for his reflux. Zantac.....not Xanax.  Everyone pauses when I mention Zantac thinking I am treating my child for panic attacks.  No.  After about an hour of medication I had a laughing and smiling baby......yes, I said laughing not crying.  

Look at that precious thing.....How can it really ever be mad and scream for hours you ask....I'd like to know as well

So the good news is that the happiness lasted about 2 days.  The bad news is that the happiness lasted only 2 days.  We now have screaming gas pains......I took him to meijer to get a new formula to try (Gerber soothe please be my saving grace).  He screamed the whole time.  The check out lady was like, "are you a new mom?" I replied, yes, how can you tell?  She laughed and said "the anxiety in your face and spit up down your shirt."  She then said "Don't worry it gets better".  If I hear that one more time I may go bananas.....I need gets better to happen pronto!!! 

 So now we wait to see if the new formula will help.  I mean if we get rid of the gas and screaming he would literally have no reason to cry.......but what fun would that be?

Thank you Old Milwaukee Light

I have officially become my grandma.  I have aged myself a solid 50 years.  I had an Old Milwaukee Light this past weekend and it has never tasted so good.  Or it could be the fact that this is only the second beer I have had in the 5 weeks following the birth of my lil nugget.  I used to wrinkle my nose at the thought of having to drink an Old Milwaukee Light, but after a month of trying to figure out what a newborn baby wants when he cries......I was willing to drink anything at this point.  Pure deliciousness, that's what that tasted like.

We are now officially into week 5 of this adventure called parenthood.  I think it is important to keep it real because so many people try to make child raising sound so easy and glorious.  Everyone's child is an angel and never cries or makes you want to drink a 30 pack of Busch Light in one sitting in an hour time period.  I have quickly realized that they are all liars.  Lies I say!!!  All babies cry and drive you batty at times.  I'm not buying it that they don't.  No shame here in admitting that.

I love examples.....so here is a good one.
Everyone told me about a time that would come when my little angel would have a blowout in his car seat. Not my child I thought.  He has cute lil baby poos and I quickly change him and all is well in our wonderful world. Today that all changed.......

As I was sitting waiting for my sister to show up to go for a walk in 90 degree weather with 100% humidity......dumb....I noticed my lil angel grunting.  Grunting and turning his face red.  I thought, awe lil peanut, you gotta poo?  So I go sit in the back seat waiting on the arrival so I can quickly change him.  Because I am johnny on the spot like mentioned earlier on the diaper change end.  He finally pushes out what I thought was a turd along with some farts.......  Nope.  All poop.

I pull his hand up, which was conveniently by his side, to get him out of his car seat and his had is covered in baby shit.  I slightly freak out.  Naturally when i grab his had to keep him from so kindly putting it in his mouth he smears it across his face. Baby. Poop. Everywhere.

I lift him from his seat......Woah....

 My lil dinosaur took a dino sized shit......clearly

Car seats have little to no nooks and crannies that poo can nicely get stuck in.  Said no one ever.  So here's to you Old Milwaukee Light!  Thank you for being so tasty and getting me through yet one more milestone in baby's life.  Also, let this be a lil public service announcement for all you soon to be moms out there.  Don't buy a car seat that doesn't wipe down easily.......

New Mom Confessions

You read that correct......I finally calved!!  I'm a mom!  Woah.....that still gives me anxiety a lil to say out loud.  Don't get me wrong, it has been a pretty awesome experience, but I have to admit that I was so unprepared for new mom status.

Here's the deal;  you spend 6 hours in labor and after you push out that little bundle of joy you have an army of nurses that are at your every call.  They check on you every hour, bring you anything you need, and take care of the baby while you get some rest.  Then all of a sudden they tell you that you are ready to go home after 2 days of nonstop care and your quick advisers for any and all baby related questions and concerns. My instant thought: But wait, you all aren't coming with me?!?!

You head home and it honestly feels like you are just babysitting and someone is coming to pick up this lil nugget at anytime.  It is all trial and error.  Then after a wonderful evening and first day home with your new lil one he all of a sudden gets pissed.  When I say pissed, i mean pissed.  Like scream at the top of his lungs for 4. HOURS. STRAIGHT!  I bawled.  I was a horrible mom. I couldn't even sooth my baby.  I didn't know what was wrong.  Thank god for a wonderful husband and sister that came over to attempt to calm the storm.  After a healthy poop and some serious burps we finally had a sleeping baby.  Did I mention 4 hours later?

All I wanted to do was go back to the hospital and have the nurses care for me and my new baby that I felt I was failing at miserably.  I cried.  I have never been a crier.  Very rarely do I have emotions that soar or even get expressed.  That changes with a baby.  Those hormones that people speak of are legit.  I sometimes just burst in to tears and not even have a reason or know why.  So strange.  Hopefully that goes away........it does right?

With all that being said, we are slowly but surely getting adjusted.  Through the ups and downs and just going day by day its moments like when he shits his diaper with a big grin on his face that I realize I wouldn't change a thing.

Happy Day!