Real Life Wednesday

I had the idea of starting a series every Wednesday that shares a glimpse of my real life.  I find that the ole interwebs tend to show people with the white picket fence, hair and makeup done, and dinner on the table with the perfect family.  However the real life behind the computer screen is mad chaos.  Why do we hide it?  Why do we try to paint a picture to everyone that we have life all together.  

I am here to break that mold and let you all know it is ok to not have your shit together.  My life is bananas right now.  Straight up bananas.  I have a hard enough time remembering to eat let alone have my hair and makeup done.  Here is a lil glimpse into my real life......

My kid makes man sized turds.  To the point that you see here.  I am feeding him, minding my own business and with one solid grunt I am holding a handful of poo.  As i tell my sister "Do something!" I was thinking more like grab the kid so I can wash my hand, she instead grabs her phone to take a picture.....classic

Currently my son has eyes for 6 ounces of milk but the stomach capacity for only 4 ounces.  In turn that means mama wears the bottle shortly after feeding.  Straight down the shirt soaked with curdled milk.  It smells wonderful too might I add.  

So there you have the first edition of real life Wednesday.  Stay tuned next week for more madness.

Weight loss with a lil Zantac

First let's talk about weight loss after pregnancy. Pumping/breast-feeding is like a secret magic tool.  It conveniently makes weight quickly fall off. Two weeks postpartum I was down 5 pounds pre-baby weight. That is all of my baby weight plus an additional 5 lbs if you couldn't do the math. Four weeks postpartum I was down 10 pounds pre-baby weight. Pre baby weight!!!! That is a total of like 31 lbs. At this point I pretty much felt like a rockstar.  Then comes along a little thing called a plugged milk duct. (If any of you need to know how to get rid of said plugged milk duct refer to this post). 

After that little treasure of an experience showed up I could only produce one ounce of breastmilk so I stopped pumping. Gasp I know, my child only got one month of breastmilk so I'm sure he will not thrive or prosper (insert mom shaming that my child was not breast-fed for one year). I wasn't really even a fan of pumping anyway so I was impressed I made it 4 weeks. I really just wanted to know what it felt like to be a milk cow. (Kidding........kind of). 

So now fast-forward to week five postpartum where I am only down 5 pounds pre-baby weight. Yes that means I in fact gained 5 pounds back.  We are now at six weeks postpartum and I am only 2 pounds lighter than pre-baby weight. Dammit, I am going backwards. I suppose I should stop eating ice cream multiple times a day since I am no longer excreting milk from my tits. So there's that.

On to the Zantac.  I like to update you all on my angry baby situation for what reason I don't know, other than maybe this will be a cute timeline for later on to refer to as to why my hair turned grey so quickly. We started my adorable lil peanut on Zantac last night for his reflux. Zantac.....not Xanax.  Everyone pauses when I mention Zantac thinking I am treating my child for panic attacks.  No.  After about an hour of medication I had a laughing and smiling baby......yes, I said laughing not crying.  

Look at that precious thing.....How can it really ever be mad and scream for hours you ask....I'd like to know as well

So the good news is that the happiness lasted about 2 days.  The bad news is that the happiness lasted only 2 days.  We now have screaming gas pains......I took him to meijer to get a new formula to try (Gerber soothe please be my saving grace).  He screamed the whole time.  The check out lady was like, "are you a new mom?" I replied, yes, how can you tell?  She laughed and said "the anxiety in your face and spit up down your shirt."  She then said "Don't worry it gets better".  If I hear that one more time I may go bananas.....I need gets better to happen pronto!!! 

 So now we wait to see if the new formula will help.  I mean if we get rid of the gas and screaming he would literally have no reason to cry.......but what fun would that be?